here is a church and here is a steeple

reminds me of my grandparents,
who did not go to church to hear music drunk.

it's cold in my apartment,
another of the joys of living in a cheap place.
sometimes you have no say.

and I am too harsh on people.
and would give another chance if it was asked for.

I've discovered that most people would be no where without second chances.

tonight I am getting shitcanned.
just to see what happens,
me and my partner in crime.

i keep my eyes on the prize,
the prize being good times,
and making life not about what we need to do
but what we feel like doing.

indie pop and churches

last night was wonderful,
and interesting
and a feeling
of warmth

i could write a better story everyday that what actually happens.
we are not settlers,
that`s all.

my date and I (she) I could love her, if I could love shes
we are both starting to feel like we have to settle,
but we don`t.
I won`t.

shes beautiful,
beautiful,
long legs,
brown hair
show stopping eyes.

so what is it then
just something about about luck
timing,
lottery,
or settling
because I wont.

I believe in the story
and if not story

then I believe in myself

myself is pretty good people

no point of putting up with someone because your scared to be alone
I`m not alone

i have the fucking best friends.

on my mind thursday

it's colder today.
the temperature went down.
so did my hope.

it's a new day.
i am trying to be positive.
fucking positive.

today is just a clean slate.
a new beginning,
a million other things can happen.

he's just not it.
his eyes might be,
but the rest of him isn't.

eggs and despertation

come back and make me fall into the vortex.
the vortex was a place where I forgot everything bad.
everything I don't like, disappeared.
everything I worry about,
forgot to be worried.

vortex
you
come
back

should I believe it Tarot?

It's been so long since I have felt this way.
And I feel like I am going to puke and dance and fall of the edge.
And I want it to not happen
and then happen so much,
that I am not sure which way to turn.

I'm scared.
Fucking terrified.
With good reason I would think.
I've been so happy just being myself for so long.
Blue sweat pants, unshaven legs.

And what if you turn out to be what I am sure you will be?
gone?
a disaster?
a pimp?
a liar?
a cheater?
anything but wonderful.

But god damn,
it was so wonderful,
looking into your beautiful eyes,
the feelings of pure delight.
up and down like a hundred little stars tinkling through my arms.

That's when you say fuck it,
fuck it ,
fuck it,
even if this goes nowhere,
those couple of moments can go in my pocket.

on my mind thursday

I haven't been in that building for a long time,
the building of love, or rather excitement,
I think I am ready to make another move into..


feeling crazy enough to jump in

unemployed

I kind of forgot about my blog
I have been down, and not working, and feeling mostly crazy and a bunch of other crap.
Maybe I should just blog blog blog and get it all out.
Anyways I am back, I am, I am going to write more and feel more.