How does anyone ever have these nights?
How do we make the decision to just do something,
something that changes everything.
In that small routine,
that is your life.
And Bam!
All of a sudden,
you are on the floor, with a sword to your throat,
and you know you have gone too far. Of course, I didn't actually have a sword to my throat, but I feel like that part of my life died last night, in once giant swoop of strangeness.
I knew he didnt love me, and I knew it all along, but I had to try one more time , just once more to make sure that I was right.
I was right,
and now I am probably
lost,
the best guy friend in my life. His strangeness and his power.
But
Jesus
I was not happy, with the way things were.
And then going to see the other,
the other,
yet so similar.
It was like the punch
pushing it away for good.
And I need to be picked up,
I feel like I am down
down
and out.
And nobody is here today,
which is the way it is supposed to be
I am thinking way too much,
and I feel in about 20 days
My life will be so different then it is
right now
at this moment
in some way
In so many ways,
and will other of them,
other of them consuming my mind right now,
will they still be there?
will they still have any part, of this puzzle.
Was the strangeness and the moments of feeling weird, just part of it? part of a real thing? did you feel it too?
the strangeness,
it's because I wanted to know you.
I want to know you,
but you think I am just a shadow
or
I am not sure what you think
or who you are.
except
except
for your soft
soft
blue eyes
I always go for blue eyes,
all of the ones, I ever really moved inside for
blue eyes,
CB blood helps too,
Are we all just looking for a little piece of our father?
