on my mind thursday

I haven't been in that building for a long time,
the building of love, or rather excitement,
I think I am ready to make another move into..


feeling crazy enough to jump in

unemployed

I kind of forgot about my blog
I have been down, and not working, and feeling mostly crazy and a bunch of other crap.
Maybe I should just blog blog blog and get it all out.
Anyways I am back, I am, I am going to write more and feel more.

Film Fest

I am tired, and it's only Monday.
Worked a film fest party last night, which I was excited for, but was dissapointing in the end, because I was outside all night working "the list" and did not even get to see any of the action.

I am having a bad case of the Monday's today.
And the poory-s.
I am pretty sick of being poor.

mix-up head

I have been having trouble sleeping lately.
I barely ever have trouble sleeping.
I am wondering if it's my life being too much of a mix-up.
Maybe my head is upset with never knowing what is going on.
Maybe it wants to know when my next vacation is, when I can see Fou May, when life can be normal.
I just feel like I have been on a rocking rollarcoaster for so long now.
I maybe need to be bored.
I need to do the same thing for more than a few months,
I need benefits, and vacation time and a regular pay check.

Is that too much to ask?

Mothers and Daughters

I was sitting on the streetcar this morning going to work,
and this Chinese mother and daughter (she was about 12) got off in front of me.
The daughter was so hostile to her mother.
Do you remember being like that?
Hating your mother so much? Slamming doors and telling her she ruined your life.
I wanted to grab her little shoulders and shake the girl.
"Why are you being so mean to your mother? She is the only mother you'll have!"

But of course I couldn't.
I suppose we all need to hate our mothers.
To later love them.
Today I miss my mom.
In all her judgment glory.

When they got off the streetcar, the mother tried to hand the daughter an apple juice.
It feel onto the floor, and no one picked it up.
The girl walked in front of her mother across the street, trying so hard not to look back.

Monday, Monday....

I couldn't sleep last night.
I am not sure why,
normally with my vices, I can sleep just fine.
But not last night, I tossed and turned.

Me and J made Chocolate Chip cookies at 9 30 and I must have ate 5.
Maybe it was too much sugar so late.
Maybe it was my head being scared for Monday.
Who knows?

All I know is I feel shit-ty! today.

I went to see Pineapple Express yesterday.
What a piece of crap that was.
What is with all the movies having no strong female characters?
What is with weed and blowing stuff up being funny?
It made no sense.

And I like to have a puff and a laugh just as much as the next girl.

I really really did not get it.
The 5 mins of Dance Dance Revolution before the movie was the best part!

TGIF

well, it's Friday anyways.
I am glad about that.
I think I ate too many corn dogs, mini donuts and various other crap last night at the EX.
We went on a ride at like 11, Orbiter, something, and I really thought that was it for me.
I thought I was going to be the girl that pukes off the ride and people point at and everyone stares.

But I closed my eyes and took breaths, and hey! I didn't puke.
It was fun,
overwhelming,
We don't have anything that big back home.